Showing You Care and Reaching Out
Earlier this week my mom had arranged to have an online meeting with her friend. She knew this person had a strong reputation for her punctuality, so she was concerned when she sent a message to call her, and after thirty minutes she had not replied. She decided to send this person a second message, saying she was worried about her, and wanted to make sure she was okay. Sometime after, she received a message from this person’s number. It was her son, and he was saying his mother had been in an accident, that she was in the hospital, but she was alright. Something that really stuck with me about this was how my mom reached out to make sure that this person was fine, and that even though they were fine, they still had something that happened to them, and my mom showed she cared.
It’s just now that I’m writing down this blog post that I made a connection between what happened to my mom with something that happened to me earlier this week.
During the beginning of the week I started to think about one of my friends. We had somewhat of a disagreement earlier in August, and I have not heard from them since. In my opinion, I was right concerning the argument, and although I felt that this person should reach out first, no matter if it was to apologize or not, I didn’t want to be on bad terms with my friend. So I texted them yesterday in the afternoon, I sent a simple text; “Hey, I just wanted to make sure we’re okay?”. It’s a bit over twenty-four hours later, and they have yet to reply. If I’m being completely honest, I initially found it infuriating that they didn’t feel the need to reply to my message. They had been online several times since, and I think they could’ve at least replied saying yes, or no, and that they didn’t want to talk about it further.
The particular thing about my mom’s story that sticks with me and that I connect with mine is the way she contacted them to make sure if they were okay. Although my mom didn’t have an argument with this person, her gesture still stuck with me because when I initially thought about reaching out to my friend, I didn’t think about actually doing it; it was just a thought I had about how I didn’t want to be on bad terms with this person. I didn’t want to seem clingy, and I was worried it would seem like “I cared too much and it wasn’t that big of a deal”. I wasn’t actually going to text them, but then I considered what could happen if I didn’t, and to do this I had to consider a few things about my friend.
My friend has a bit of a temper, and they don’t often apologize or accept that they did something wrong, or at least not with me. I think that’s the reason why I did reach out. Although I felt, and still feel that this person should at least make an effort to contact me, I knew that they wouldn’t be the ones to do it first, and I’m still not sure if they’ll contact me any time soon. Even though it hurts me that they won’t make an effort in the way I want them to, I do know that they have their own ways of showing they care, and that they have before, especially when I wasn’t willing to. I know my friend cares, but the reason why I know this is because they have shown that they cared before, not because of the way they’re acting right now. Sometimes it can be hard to show that you care, or that you’re willing to make an effort, especially if you, just like me, are scared of being seen as clingy, or have too much pride to try to reach out. Sometimes, it can also be hard to see that others care. The reason for this could be that everyone shows that they care differently, or that sometimes we are too focused on what the other person is thinking about us that we don’t realize the way that they truly feel. Although these perceptions and feelings can be rational ones, I do think that sometimes we have to be willing to let go of our safety lines and risk not knowing what the other person will feel. We have to know that if the people around us love us, and care (even though they might not always be willing to show it or have too much pride to do so), they’ll appreciate the effort, or they’ll at least see it as a sign that you care. Sometimes we also have to learn to show that we care, even though we might not know how the other person will perceive it. To conclude, if there’s a message that I want this blog post to convey it’s that life is a little too short to worry about showing that you care a little too much.
